Posted by Dyske Suematsu on July 06, 1997 at 22:23:14:
When we talk about the racial segregation of blacks and whites, one of the
common issues that comes up is why, say if you are white, you have only few,
if any, black friends. A common answer to this is that the culture is
different. And, you realize that it's a chicken-or-egg-first situation. You
are, so to speak, excused from the fact that you have an unfair ratio of
black and white friends, simply because the culture is different. But this
further develops the racial segregation and each culture develops even more
differences, so you have even better excuse. But this issue of racial
segregation isn't so interesting to me. What's interesting is how deeply
rooted this problems of prejudice is. I recently noticed that in America,
fat/obese people have a culture of their own. "Culture" may be too
far-fetched a word for it, but what I mean by it is that, to most Americans,
obesity is a mental/psychological difference that carries a substantial
meaning. Everyone makes a clear distinction in their minds. When they see an
obese man, a thought, "He is obese", will go through their heads. It's a
clear label. In Japan, obesity isn't such a big issue. When I first came to
the states, I often got into trouble for remarking casually about someone's
weight, which would not have been a big deal in Japan. I became wiser over
the years and learned not to say anything about anyone's weight. This mass
psychology of weight seems to have a tremendous effect on the lives of obese
people. The effect is substantial enough that it creates a different reality
for them. We all tend to socialize with others who make us comfortable. That
comfort comes from understanding of each other's reality. That's why a rich
man does not get along with a poor man, a white man often does not get along
with a black man, and retired old people do not hang out with teenagers.
Also, most people who have no handicaps have no friends who are blind or
deaf. This is all because the culture, or the reality, is different for each
"category" of people. (I'm using the word "culture" and "reality" in an
interchangable way.). Recently I have been noticing more and more that obese
people tend to socialize only with one another. I have been to many parties
in my life and I rarely see obese people.
There is a fundamental difference between blindness/deafness versus race or
obesity. The former makes the reality necessarily different whereas the
latter is only a psychological difference (or a prejudice). In a culture
where obesity is not a substantial issue, the obese people will not develop
a reality/culture of their own, in the same way people with big nose do not
have a different reality of their own, since the size of nose is not a
substantial issue here. Imagine a culture where the size of nose is a very
serious issue (for whatever reason), where everyone thinks about the size of
nose constantly (the same way how some people are obsessed about the weight
here.). Those who have big nose will receive substantially different
treatments in the society, which in turn will create a different reality for
them that could only be understood by one another. Then they will begin
socializing only with one another. In that society, you will commonly see a
group of people with large nose and another group with regular-sized nose
walking down the street. If you think about it, that is how absurd it is now
that we see a group of black people and another of white people socializing
exclusively with one another. And that absurdity is extending towards obese
people. People's obsession about the weight is creating a different enough
reality for them.
Once I was invited to a dinner with a couple who were obese. To be honest,
they are, so far in my life, only obese people that I've known. They are
British and had only been here for a few months. They started talking about
how scary some part of Brooklyn was. The wife said, "I felt like I was going
to get mugged or raped." Then right after it, as if she had changed her mind
about her remark, she said in a sad, low tone, "Well, maybe not raped..."
Her implication was that she is so unattractive that no one would be
interested in raping her. I felt bad for her, but what am I to tell her?
"Oh, that's not true, you could get raped too." ??? Would that make her feel
better? She had a totally different view of reality from anything that I had
ever known. This is a reality where you are lucky to be able to say that you
can get raped. What a terrible feeling that must be, especially for her to
say it in front of her husband. The implication of that is: If some rapist
wouldn't even touch her then what is he doing? As the conversation
progressed, I found out that they never been to fancy, trendy restaurants in
New York, because they felt unwelcome, or felt uncomfortable with people
staring at them. Most of the places that I recommened which in my view
weren't so fancy or trendy, some of which they had heard of or walked by,
were too trendy for them to even consider looking in. I realized that I was
living in a completely different reality. In fact, I felt a bit ashamed of
my own reality. It is quite sad that our society creates such a different
reality for them.
John Cage once said that the sheer attention to the negative will only give
life to it, like the kind of life that a fire is given when you fan it. So
the best thing is to ignore it. He believed that the negative will die of
its own natural death if you stopped paying attention to it. I believe this
too, so I never involve myself in any type of anti-racism, anti-sexism,
anti-anything activities. The fact that the racism is an issue is a matter
of absurdity to begin with. If you actually went to a country where the size
of nose is a national issue, you would probably get an urge to scream, "Why
are you so obsessed with nose? Who cares? Drop it already!!" But with the
way it is now, race and obesity, among other things, are so much in
everyone's mind that they will continue to be big issues. Who knows what's
next? Maybe bald men will start socializing only with one another.