Posted by Jim Prichard on February 09, 1998 at 00:29:13:
In Reply to: Just for laughs! posted by Carmin on September 20, 1997 at 15:11:09:
: The European Union Commissioners have announced that agreement has been
: reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
: communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As
: part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English
: spelling had some room for improvement, and has accepted a five-year,
: phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro, for short). In
: the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".
: Sertainly, sivil servents will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard
: "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but
: typewriters kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik
: enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" is replaced by
: "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 persent shorter.
: In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
: reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
: will enkorage the removal of the double letters, which have always ben a
: deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of
: silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they will go.
: By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
: with 'z", and "w" with "v".
: During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be droped from vords kontaining
: "ou", and similar changes vud, of kors, be aplid to ozer kombinations of
: leters.
: After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no
: more trubls or difikultis and evrevun vil find it ezi tu understand ech
: ozer. Ze drem wil vinali kum tru!
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